Sex Tips for Moms 
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Sex Tips for Moms | |||||
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We get asked all the time about normal…so let’s simply answer this now. It is We get asked all the time about normal…so let’s simply answer this now. It is normal: - to be so tired you just don’t want to have sex - to have a lower sex drive after the birth of a child (in fact, it can take up to a year for your hormones to recover) - to be distracted by jobs/children and not fully focus on your partner - to not feel sexy - to be bored and wondering if this is it There is no simple solution that works for everyone, but here are a few tips to make sex just a bit better. 1. Plan for sex. This may mean setting a time and date, say Wednesday at 10:00 pm. All day Wednesday, get yourself in the mood and include him. For some women, this may even mean setting a time and every hour, think about sex. You might even want to call him each hour and tell him what you’d like to do. For example, you might call him at 9:00 am and tell him “when we get in the bedroom, I am going to begin by nibbling on you ear”. Then, at 10:00 call him and tell him “after I am done with that ear, I am going to lick your nipples”. If you can continue this through the day, by the time he gets home, he might not even be able to sit through dinner. (Great incentive to help clear the dishes and put the kids to bed!) |
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2. Orgasm = more orgasms. Dr. Trina read wrote a wonderful article on “Just do it Sex”. She said that sometimes we just have to jump in bed and do it…we might even find that it wasn’t so bad. To take her advise one step further, we would suggest that you have more sex. By having more sex, you become more comfortable with yourself. You can begin enjoying yourself more. Your pelvic region will become fitter (and hopefully help you achieve stronger orgasms). Orgasms also release testosterone and estrogen, which will hopefully help increase your sex drive. (We’ve gone so far as to send women home with a rabbit vibrator and a plan to have an orgasm a night to increase her sex drive!) 3. You see belly fat, he just sees naked woman. Enough said. 4. Get your sexy back. Firstly, mentally get there. Stop focusing on your baby belly! Yah, we all change a bit but be sexy as you are. Actually, redefine sexy! Sexy is a mother who can take care of the kids, feed the dog and still have time to shoot him that ‘oh…you…me…later’ look. Sexy might mean taking a more cerebral/learned look at sex. You might want to read a book and learn a new trick or two (my husband and I can recommend, “Tickle His Pickle”). For other women it may mean watching a video on Kama Sutra or Tantric Sex. Also, force yourself to be sexy. You might feel like a complete fool doing a strip tease for him…but it might be a blast. He’ll love it and you might even laugh. (Remember, sexy isn’t always serious vampy sultry…it can be strip for him, trip on your panties, land on top of him, laugh until your sides hurt and make passionate fun love!) | |
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Find some clothing that feels sexy for you. For some, this is simply a boa, for others it is a lovely piece of lingerie. (And girls, keep in mind, a really good corset makes your boobs look great and keeps your belly in!) 5. Take time for relationship. How many hours a week do you watch tv? Recommit even just 2 hours a week to turn off the tv and spend time with each other. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex…although it can. Talk about something other than the kids. Maybe grab some card questions from a sensual game or massage each other. Just put the time and effort into it. Doesn’t your relationship deserve as much focus as the laundry? 6. Let’s talk about sex, Yes, have a conversation with your partner about sex. Tell him how you are feeling. (Subtle hints don’t work well on my husband.) He might not realize how you are feeling or why. He might also have some things he wants to talk about. Use the opportunity to discuss what you like and what you don’t. For a lot of people, this isn’t easy. Sometime a video like the Better Sex Series will give you a forum to discuss preferences. I know couples who were amazed at what they were both into. It just took them 10 years to ask each other the question. |
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7. We clearly are biased here but toys toys toys! Make sex an event again. No more ‘assume the position’ sex. Have fun and laugh in the bedroom. (Oh, and buy a locked box…and don’t steal the batteries from the kids toys!) 8. Have a goal. Many women we talk to have a goal of a g-spot orgasm or want to learn new things with their partners. It gives you a good reason to practice. 9. Ask for his help. If you really are just that tired, tell him. Maybe he can put the kids to bed while you take a bath and read an erotic book. Give yourself some time to decompress before having sex. 10. Touch again. Every time he walks by, just gently touch his arm or kiss him. Even hold his hand when you walk to the playground with the kids. This may lead to a romantic renaissance. 11. Go away. For moms with older kids, you can’t feel free in bed when the kids are still up watching tv downstairs. Plan a sex holiday! I ran into a friend and her husband downtown one Sunday morning…and did they look happy. They had left the kids with a babysitter and spent the night in a hotel. They had dinner then a few drinks and enjoyed sex. They got up in the morning and had sex again. Imagine great sex twice in a 24 hour period! 12. Write him a love letter (or love email). Tell him what you find sexy about him. Tell him how he is your best friend and how happy you are. Make him feel great about him (I assume you are with him because he has some fine points). In some form, it will likely be reciprocated. | |
