Cunnilingus

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A kiss, a massage, a soft gentle touch between her legs….she is yours to pleasure.      

Overall, the best way to pleasure her is to gently tease the labia and clitoris, bringing her close to orgasm then backing off.  This gives her body time to bring blood to pelvic platform.  By the time she is fully aroused and fully engorged, she should have an absolutely explosive orgasm. We’ve put together a few tips for cunnilingus and more.

1.  We also suggest open communication with your partner.  If you are hesitant or see that she is, have a conversation first.  Many women are uncomfortable with their own sexuality and her hesitation may have nothing to do with you or what you are doing.  Reassure her that you derive pleasure from being with her.

2.  Practice safe oral sex. Many people assume that oral sex is safe but it isn’t risk free.  If you are unsure about your partner or have reason to believe that she may have a STI, use a dam.  

Be aware that you can get and transmit herpes through oral sex (the genital and oral strains are now very similar).  Chlamydia and Gonorrhea can infect your throat and requires antibiotics to treat.  Your eyes can become infected, so be aware of fluids.  HIV and hepatitis can also be passed through oral sex.

3.  Always remember that for most women, sex is an experience not simply a single act.  By drawing her a nice bath or offering to shower with her, you are setting the mood.  It also can make her taste that much better.  (Some women are hesitant about oral sex as they feel you will not like the smell down there.  This is one way to take away that anxiety.)  Take a facecloth and gently running it over her entire body (not just between her legs).  Experience her body top to bottom.  This shouldn’t be overtly sexual but instead very sensual.  (Note…jiggling ANY fat on her body will put a quick end to play.  Avoid jiggling at all costs!!!  Long smooth strokes will help avoid this.)

4.  Some women keep their pubic hair well trimmed while others love it long (and still others wish to be trimmed but life gets in the way and they settle for 1970’s afro).  You may offer to shaver her hair.  (Warning: talk to her first about how far she is willing to go.  Do not assume because she lets you have the razor that she wants to be pornstar bare!)  There is something sexy about creating a furry heart or butterfly (and yes, you can buy special razors and stencils to achieve these special looks.)   

If you aren’t using a specially designed razor, make sure to always use a new sharp razor and plenty of lather.  When shaving, use one hand to hold the skin taut and the other to shave.  Shave in the direction the hair grows.  Do not use smelly soaps or lotions as these can lead to infections.  Never use talc after as it has been linked to cervical cancer.

While we are on the topic of shaving, if you are a man, please shave your face.  Stubble hurts.  If you have a beard or moustache, putting conditioner on it may soften the hairs slightly.  

5.  Once she’s in the bed, focus on her whole body.  The more foreplay she has, the more likely she is going to have a wonderfully strong orgasm.  A nice sensual massage is a good way to start.  Vary your level of contact from firm long strokes to very light short strokes.  You are always working in towards her labia/vagina but for now, come close but don’t make contact.  

6.  Take a feather or light make-up type brush (not her favourite make-up brush), and run it up the insides of her legs.  Again, come close to her labia but don’t touch it yet.  

7.  Next, enjoy her breasts.  (Approximately 1% of women can orgasm through breast stimulation alone.)  Kiss and suck her nipples.  Go beyond the nipples and gently lick the entire breast.  The underside of the armpit near the breast also is a highly sensitive area and should be licked and touched.  

8.  Now, gently with your tongue head down towards her public bone but stop just before you get there.  

9.  Move down to her toes and run your tongue up the inside of her leg.  Stop and focus on the inside of her tights toward the buttocks.  This is another highly sensitive area.  

10. Now, gently open her legs and cup your hand over the pubic bone.  With your fingers pointing upward, gently push upwards.  This should expose the clitoris.

11. Breathe hot air over her vagina, then gently blow cool air over her vulva.  (But never blow into her vagina.)  If you have a small vibrator, on the lowest setting, put it over her closed lips and hold it firmly for a few seconds.  

12. Begin kissing her outer lips.  Trace your tongue over her lips.  You may gently pull and tug on them with your lips (generally, not your teeth).  For extra sensation, while still tugging on her lips, breathe slowly in and out.

13. Before you open the inner lips, you may want to vibrate your lips (like blowing raspberries) on the outer lips.  You can focus towards the top to give the clitoris a preview of the pleasure to come.  

14.  Without really opening the inner lips and gently run your fingers along the inside of the outer lips.  You may wish to use a flavoured lube at this point.  It will keep things slick and make them taste better.  (Please note, many flavoured lubes on the market contain sugar.  Sugar leads to yeast infections!  Please find a lube that does not contain sugar.  We recommend O’My Lubes.)

15. Using your finger, gently tap on the clitoris.  (It isn’t a doorbell…just gently flicker like taps.)  Again, we are just giving it a preview of the pleasure to come.

16. Slow down and with the feather, in a circular motion, tracer the outer lips then inner lips.  Also caress the perineum with the feather.  

17. You may wish to put an ice cube in our mouth and trace it over her lips.  Be careful not to leave it in one spot as it may stick to her soft wet skin.  Alternatively, take a sip of hot liquid (water, tea) and then begin to lick her.  

18. Gently lick her inner lips from the bottom to the top like a large ice cream cone.  Pause just before you reach the clitoris.  Repeat the a few times.  Finally, lick her clitoris with catlike quick licks.  Don’t go too far with this. We aren’t done yet!

19. Slowly, with your tongue flat against her inner lips, lick from top to bottom (take about 5-10 seconds for each lick)  Repeat.  Some people count while others move from A-Z.  

20. Trace your tongue in a circular motion around the head of the clitoris.  Move back and then plunge your tongue into the vaginal canal.  

21. Look at her.  Don’t get lost down there.  She needs to look at you and see that you are enjoying it.  Also, make positive comments about how much you like having your face in her labia or how beautiful her vulva is.  

22. Gently insert one or two fingers into the vaginal canal.  With a come hither motion, caress your fingers along the front wall of her vaginal canal.  (Lube helps here too.)   Remove your fingers.  If you have a penetrative vibrator, you can use it now.  

23. While penetrating her with your fingers or toy, take the clitoris in your mouth and suck on it for a count of 5.  Go back to cat licks then repeat the sucking motion.  Sucking stimulates blood flow to the clitoris.  Flicker your tongue over the clitoris while continuing sucking on it.

24. Now that she’s completely aroused, keep going as she moves towards orgasm.  Use firm pressure to stimulate the g-spot and using quick cat licks, focus on the clitoris.  You may wish to unhood the clitoris by pulling the skin back.  However, watch her reaction.  For some women, any stimulation to an unhooded clitoris is just too much.  

25. Don’t stop.  Keep going even if she says she has to pee.  Often, as the g-spot swells it puts pressure on the urethra and makes a woman feel like she has to pee.  Watch out though, women can ejaculate.  For some women, it is just a few drops while for others it is a squirting gush.  

26. Don’t go faster.  While many men like the pace to quicken as they approach climax, women, generally like you to keep an even pace.  (Oh yah, and if at any time she is squirming and wiggling and really enjoying, don’t stop and move on….unless you are teasing her and building her up for an explosive orgasm!)

27. When she’s finished, excuse yourself and get a warm face cloth.  Just the thoughtfulness of cleaning her up after will make her remember this for a long time.  

28. As silly as it may sound, bring her a nice after sex snack.  Not just a piece of meat left over from dinner…something nice like little biscuits and a drink.   

A Few Additional Tricks:

1.  You may wish to blindfold and / or cuff her while you take control of her pleasure.  There is a natural fear when blindfolded but this can increase adrenaline.  It also makes her much more sensitive.  If she is blindfold, you may wish to pause that extra second when introducing some ice, a toy or simply your next trip.  It helps build anticipation.  

2.   You may wish to caress her anus with your finger after she is very aroused.  If she is willing, you can carefully insert a well lubed finger.  (See our Guide to Anal Sex for more information.)